Forgiveness Is The One Thing We Can Control In Our Lives

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Forgiveness is a subject that is brought to our attention as we are social beings. Imperfection is in our nature, which makes it easy for us to please and hurt others in an inconsistent motion of living. And regardless of how kindhearted our natures can truly be, we will inevitably find ourselves in situations involving hurt feelings and broken hearts. Whether you have been cheated on by your significant other, betrayed by a close friend, or deceived by a family member, the pain and sorrow that accompanies the hurt will live with you just the same. It is natural. It will happen over and over again, involving different – and sometimes the same – people from past heartaches. You will be the cause of ’s heartache. We can never escape this unfortunate folly. Yet, there is a solution.

When we find ourselves in a position of extreme bitterness and anger towards another person, the thought of forgiving them is the last thing that crosses our minds. We may think: They don’t deserve my forgiveness, Forgiving them will let them off the hook, They never gave me an apology, or even Forgiving them will make me look weak. These same thoughts have circled my own brain many times regarding someone who has hurt me, and it took me a long time to realize that those thoughts were only hindering my potential for happiness and peace of mind. Here is why.

We are all people, all human, all imperfect. We hurt others. We are hurt by others. It makes no difference who does the hurting and who is the hurt because we are all guilty of being both the victim and the culprit at one time or another. We are all deserving of forgiveness. Even more so, we are all deserving of happiness. Because when you choose to forgive someone, it is not for that person – it is for you. And aren’t you worthy enough to live a content and stress-free life? Forgive.

“It makes no difference who does the hurting and who is the hurt because we are all guilty of being both the victim and the culprit at one time or another.”

Forgiving does not mean forgetting, as the old cliché goes. When you choose to forgive someone, you are not “letting them off the hook” and sending them away guiltless of their deeds. You are not condoning their actions and viewing them as acceptable. When you choose to forgive someone, you understand that you have been hurt and betrayed, but you do not let that define your mind and soul thereafter. The heartache is not forgotten, and is no longer felt. Forgiveness is an act that frees the body from physical, mental, and emotional anguish. And aren’t you important enough to free yourself from this bitterness that binds you? Forgive.

Forgiveness does not demand an apology. This was a very difficult concept for me to grasp. I would think, how can you forgive someone who is not even sorry? There will be times when the person who hurt you is sorry, and you may not be ready to forgive them right away. And there will be other times when that person will not be sorry, and you may feel like you will never be ready to forgive them. But if you want to find the peace and solace that you have desired since your anger first began, you must choose to forgive. Haven’t you felt this anger and hurt long enough to make you feel ill? Forgive.

Forgiveness is a choice that we are given to freely make however and whenever we wish. It is the piece of humanity that we can maintain control over. You cannot force a person to change, or make them act in certain ways that appease you. You cannot control who is going to hurt you and how they are going to hurt you and why they hurt you. But you can control how you react. You can choose to be happy, content, peaceful, and harmonious by choosing to forgive. It is an act that shows nothing but courage and strength. The capability of choosing to move past the pain and hurt a person has caused in order to better yourself is something to endear and embrace. When you choose to forgive, you do not choose feebleness – you choose strength.

The path to forgiveness is a long and strenuous one. Different acts of hurtfulness and pain will vary, and the choice to forgive may be more difficult for some than others. Always remember that your life is worth more than this sorrow and hurt in which you keep bound inside your heart. The potential for tranquillity lies in your hands. So if you are able to find the strength and courage that I know is within your reach, forgive. Always forgive.


 

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Lovelife ?

“Move on teh! 8 Years ago pa yung lovelife mo hanggang ngayon hindi ka pa rin nakakahanap ng bago?”

Napangisi ako sa tinuran ng kaibigan ko, “Hindi naman naging kami, malisyoso lang talaga kayo.”

“Anong hindi naging kayo? Eh di’ba nagpaka suicidal ka pa noon, may eksenang laslasan, tatalon sa building, papa-sagasa?”

“Adik ka ba? Tamang hinala lang teh? Nakalimutan mo na bang lasing na lasing tayo noon at super keme pa ng valium? Alam mo yan dahil andun ka nung naganap yung mga eksenang yun at alam mo din na may phobia ako sa heights at blades kaya nga di’ba may dare-dare effect noon na face your fears kaya ayun ang fi-nace ko.” ang napipikon kong sagot.

“Haynaku, ako mismo nakakaalam nyan. Umamin ka o hindi alam ko kung ano ang totoo.” ang wika niya.

“Buti ka pa alam mong may love life ako noon, hindi naman ako na-inform na nagpapakabaliw na pala ako sa isang tao.”

“Shut up na lang ako.”ang maldita niyang sagot.

Napangisi ako.Nakakaasar kasi, buti pa sila alam na halos magpakamatay ako noon sa isang tao, dahil mahal ko? Kaloka. Wala akong naaalalang nararamdaman ko na ganun noon. Meron ba? Ako mismo natatawa sa mga pinagsasasabi nila. Basta ako hindi ko ginawa ang mga bagay na yun dahil sa love. Kundi para maramdaman ko naman ang mga bagay na hindi ko naramdaman o mararamdaman, at nagawa ko ang mga bagay na alam kong hindi ko magagawa kailanman.

Sa akin simpleng pagharap sa bagay na kinatatakutan, sa kanila naman pagtakas sa nararamdaman.

Deep inside, alam ko nagmahal ako. Pero hindi umabot sa point na magpapakamatay ako dahil ba nag-asawa na yung tao. Una sa lahat, hindi naging Kami. Pangalawa hindi ako umasa, at higit sa lahat IMPOSIBLE. Hindi ako ipokrito para hangarin ang bagay na alam kong NEVER mapapasakin. Iba yung Pangarap, ang tao hindi pinapangarap, pinapantasya siguro oo. Pero never pinangarap.

Bahala sila sa inaakala nilang nalalaman nila. Ba’t di kaya nila isipin yung mga lovelife nila. Nakakatawa.

I Learned How To Love Myself When You Decided I Wasn’t What You Wanted

I was dreading the day that I knew I would be forced to forget you. But I wanted to keep that day away for as long as possible, even if it meant torturing myself for any chance to keep seeing you. Although you were the best thing that happened to me, you were also the worst.

I didn’t want to be the one to put my foot down. I didn’t want to be the reason that erased you from my mind. I loved you so much, that even the thought of your smile, bought me more joy than your late night texts. It was during these moments, I realized, I loved you more than I loved myself.

What was really bizarre, was that when I finally left you, I felt a huge sense of relief. I will no longer be the sorry one agonizing over how each conversation, moment, touch and kiss, could mean so little to you, when they meant the world to me. I will no longer be convincing myself to be okay as your second best.

Because the truth is, as much as I loved you, and every little detail and flaw about you, there is someone out there who I will love even more.

I shocked myself the first night I slept soundlessly with not a single tear. I was scared. I couldn’t even picture your face anymore. The one thing that was always there to bring me comfort, was now vanishing. I remember asking myself, Why should you be the source of all my happiness? After all, you were also the source of all my misery.

After that night, I stopped checking your social media to see if you had already found someone new. I stopped trying to recover any trace of you, whether it be a text, or even a picture, that I had forgotten to erase. I don’t know when it happened, but at some point, I began breezing through my days without the thought of you coming back to push me through.

I silently thank you every day for rejecting me. You made me see the value in myself I was too busy believing I had seen in you. How liberated and strong I felt at that sudden sight of you after all those months.

At last I feel for you, everything that you had always felt for me – nothing.

Because of you I have never been more kind, smart, and amazing than I am now. What is sad is that you couldn’t see any of this when I was right in front you, only to realize it after I had disappeared.

The heart you broke, only grew bigger and stronger. Your small heart showed me that people like you, who take too much pleasure in living single instead of being with someone who was ready to give them everything, will ultimately spend the rest of their life alone. My heart continues to grow every day, yet, it will never have any room for you.

I thank you for tearing me apart to the point where I couldn’t lift myself out of my bed, without the memory of you weighing me down. I fought so hard not to cry, that all my weakness surrounding you, became my biggest strength. All the love I had for you, I took back, so I can give it instead to the one person who deserves it the most; me.

I was the best thing that ever happened to you. But I was also the worst. You were lucky enough to have me in your days and schedules that you would squeeze me in. But you were unfortunate for losing the chance to have me in your life.

One day, you will want to have all of me. I bet I have already crossed your mind. Not only that, but I know there have already been times when you picked up your phone, debating whether or not you should call me.

I feel awful for you when you finally decide to make that call and I won’t answer. I feel even more pity, when you see me with the person who had already fallen in love with me, and who did it, without needing to debate about me at all.

 

 

Source.

Hong Kong Trip

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Early this year pa lang eh pinag-uusapan na naming mag-travel abroad. First time kong sasakay ng plane kaya super-excited ako.

Umabsent na nga ako ng last day (this is a different story) para lang makasama ako.

October 28, 2016 DAY 1.

Super aga kong nagising kahit uber-late na akong natulog the other night. Hindi na ako nag-breakfast para lang hindi ma-late sa usapan namin. May ni-rent silang maghahatid samin sa airport. Anong sinabi ng 2 hours before check-in sa aga namin?

Ang pinaka breakfast na namin eh nung nasa starbucks na kami sa airport. Nakapag-tour pa kami sa airport nang pasakayin kami ng driver nung umiikot sa airport para ihatid sa mga gates yung mga pasahero dahil lang kailangan namin i-photocopy yung hotel accomodations namin at yung return booking, baka daw kasi magka-problema kami sa Immigration sa Hongkong. Medyo kinabahan na nga ako sa Immigration sa NAIA pa lang eh. Buti kumpleto kami ng papel, meron palang possibility na ma-deny ka at umuwi kang luhaan? Kaloka.

Epek yung Cathay Pacific, kaso nasa bandang gitna upuan sa bandang buntot na kami dahil nga hindi kami nakapili ng seats online. Still, okay naman yung byahe, nanood na lang ako ng movie sa plane.

Nang makarating kami sa Hongkong, okay naman pala Immigration, dedma sa earth. Pasok kami sa banga. Nanguha kami ng mga Free Maps and Books then nagpapalit na ng currency doon mismo.Nagpa-book na rin kami ng shuttle papunta sa hotel na tutuluyan namin. Parang summer ang peg nung pumunta kami kaya goodluck sa mga dala naming pang-ginaw. Medyo mahaba yung byahe, TIP 1: mag-MTR na lang nang mag-MTR kahit saan ka pa papunta… super fast.

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Maganda yung hotel, bagong renovate kasi. Bago din ang pangalan, Cosmopolitan Hotel to Dorsett Wan-Chai. Friendly staff kaso mahirap makipag-usap dahil hindi sila marunong mag-english. TIP 2: Search for pictures sa internet at yun na lang ang ipakita kung may kailangan. Yung necessary things lang naman siguro.

Lumabas kami para mag-ikot-ikot. Hindi gaano dahil na rin sa pagod sa byahe. Kumain kami sa Mcdonald’s, bongga yung burger nila.Busog-Lusog ang peg, parang ang regular sa kanila eh Large satin. So bawat meal with matching Large Fries and Large Drink agad. Bumili rin kami ng mga makakain sa 7-Eleven na malapit sa hotel.Napagod ako sa kalalakad. Borlog nang malala pagbalik sa hotel.

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October 29, 2016 Day 2

Walkathon maghapon. Andami naming inikutang lugar. Nakakatuwa sa Central District, modern na modern, sosyalen yung mga shops. Napakaraming pwede mong bilhin, kung may pambili ka. Kumain kami sa KFC na underground ang drama. Hindi siya crowded at ang cute ng mga tables, may mga stalls. Privacy kung privacy. Nang dumating yung orders namin… naloka kami sa laki ng chicken, kabog yung 1-piece Chicken nila. Daks. Pasabog. Basta hindi na naubos sa sobrang laki, sana nga daw naghati-hati na lang kami, sayang kasi. Masarap pero sobrang nakakabusog.

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 photo IMG_7218_zpscad89wag.jpgBago mag-gabi, nakipagkita kami sa friend ng ate ko. Matagal na syang nagwo-work dun kaya alam na niya mga eksena. Pina-laps niya kami sa ‘The Spaghetti House’ na shala-shalahan din. Maharlika pero bongga yung inorder ni ateng. Hindi namin kinaya, Chicken, Pizza, Spaghetti at Spinach na may cheese (dabest). After kumain, pumunta kami sa tabing dagat. Medyo malayo mula sa kinainan namin pero bongga yung makikita mo. Ang ganda ng view. Matagal-tagal kami dun. Hinintay namin yung Fireworks Display.

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October 30, 2016 Day 3 DisneyLand Day

Dahil nga sa pagod nung nakaraang gabi, pahirapan bumangon. Tanghalian na nang lumabas kami ng Hotel. Sa Train Station na kami kumain ng Lunch, sarap ng Beef na parang curry yung sauce. Nakakatuwa pa kasi yung pinsan ko, akala niya si Ate yung katabi niya… inakbayan ba naman! Naloka kami. Sumakit tiyan namin sa katatawa.

 photo IMG_7267_zps0jhyxeqr.jpgMaraming lipat ng train. Pinakabongga yung Disneyland Line na. Cute ng train, Disney talaga.Pati yung mga windows hugis Mickey Mouse pati yung handrails. Meron pang mga sculptures ng mga Disney characters sa loob.

 photo IMG_7268_zpsoexn6ekh.jpgPagdating sa Disney Land, umaatikabong Picturan. Para kang nasa Paradise (chos). Bawal daw yung Monopod, dedma naman sila nung ginagamit ko na, wala namang naninita. Inabangan muna namin yung parade, after ng parade pinilit namin silang sumakay ng Hyperspace Mountain, napanood ko kasi sa youtube parang mild lang siya ganun. NOTE: NEVER pa akong nakasakay ng kahit na anong Ride sa Pilipinas. First Time kong sasakay ng keme-kemeng Rollercoaster na sa tingin naming lahat eh waley lang naman. Nilabas ko pa phone ko para magvideo (sana). Mildat first pero naloka kami nang tumatagilid na at sobrang bilis at talagang napapasigaw na ako. Naitabi ko tuloy phone ko, sobrang dilim, mga ilaw-ilaw lang na sumasalubong ang ilaw mo. Hindi ko malaman pano hawak gagawin ko.Isang kamay sa railing at isang kamay sa phone na baka malaglag sa kadiliman anytime. Nagpa-panic na’ko, super dasal na sana matapos na. Tawa sila nang tawa saming dalawa ni Ate kasi hindi naman talaga kami sumasakay sa ganun. Masaya pagbaba na namin, napagdaanan na namin sa wakas ang ganung klaseng thrill. Pero NO NO pa rin ako sa mga Extreme na Rides. Baka himatayin ako. Tama na yung Hyperspace Mountain. May PART 2 yung ‘Wow Mali Moment’ this time si Ate Dors naman yung umangkla sa kamay nung isang bumbay. Lafftrip. May mga Rides pa kaming nasakyan, cute din yung I’ts A Small World. Nagpa-picture kaming dalawa ng pamangkin ko kay R2D2. Maharlika lahat, madaming mabibili pero ginto ang presyo. Kahit ref magnet, keychain etc.Pero bumili ako ng souvenir kahit mahal. Para sakin lang. Pinanood namin yung Fireworks, sobrang ganda pati effects, parang nakakaiyak nga kasi parang bumabalik ang pagkabata ko dahil sa music. Umuwi na naman kaming pagod pero super saya.

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October 31, 2016 Day 4

Dahil sa pagod sa Disney Land, late na naman kaming nagsigising. Sumakay kami sa shuttle papuntang Central Station. Nag-ikot-ikot na naman ng malala. Talagang patibayan ng binti. Kaya siguro halos walang matatabang nakikita dun dahil naeexercise sila araw-araw.

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 photo IMG_7293_zpswpsrr8va.jpgNamili ng kung anek-anek. Pansin ko puro matcha natitikman ko. Mula sa starbucks, pati cake matcha pati frappe at tea matcha order ko. Kumain din kami ng Matcha Ice Cream na dabest! Nakakatuwa rin sumakay sa MTR. Noong una litung-lito ako pero ilang sakay lang kabisado na ang kalakaran. Disiplinado ang mga tao. Walang tumatawid pag bawal tumawid. Kahit sa escalator may side na nagwo-walk at stop. Nakakatuwa sila. Sana ganun din tayo kadisiplinado.

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November 1, 2016 Day 5

Maaga kaming nagising. Nag-ayos ng mga gamit. Photoshoot. Nag-shuttlekami papunta sa train station. Nag-train na kami papuntang Airport. Medyo matagal kami sa airport, napakaraming bilihan. Mga sosyalen. Yung natitira kong pera eh ibinili ko ng souvenirs. Meron ding souvenir shop ang Disneyland doon. Bumili ako ng first ever demitasse ko sa Starbucks, souvenir sana sa lahat ng mga keme-kemeng travel ko. Pagsakay namin sa plane nasa window na kami. Ganda ng view, breathtaking. Sa susunod na travel ko gusto ko window-side ako. Napakasaya sa pakiramdam yung mga nakikita ko.

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 photo IMG_7333_zpsnastsxga.jpgBalik sa gulo sa Pilipinas, sa airport pa lang ang gulo na. Sinundo kami ng pinsan ko sa airport. I will never ever forget that trip.

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Naisip ko, isa lang ito sa mga susunod ko pang mga trips, kahit dito sa Pilipinas napakarami kong gustong puntahan. I’ll make sure na mapupuntahan ko lahat sa susunod.

A Fresh Start!

Finally decided to make a new blog.

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Disneyland October 2016

I’ve been blogging ever since I learned how to use the internet. Actually sa sobrang dami nila, yung iba nakalimutan ko na yung URL. I have blogs na pumatok sa mga readers, sana ganito rin itong blog na’to.

This blog will showcase everything about me, facts and all. This will be my online diary. I will be posting a lot of stuff here that might interest you, or not. But still, I will make sure that everything you see or read here is definitely true and written with all my heart or soul, chos!

So sit back.

This is my story 🙂